My dad had a heart attack on Sunday. It surprised me and it didn't surprise me. The doctors said that him having another stroke was a big possibility, so I've just been preparing for that to happen. Instead, he had a massive heart attack. He's ok...he got there while he was having it but it really scared us. I've known here lately I've been dealing with some numbness...but I really felt it Sunday. I was able to cry to relieve the stress when my dad had his stroke...even though it was delayed until the next morning when I was laying in bed. Nevertheless, I cried. On the way home this past Sunday, I was listening to my meloncholy music again...hoping to feel something, but it didn't happen. I got teary eyed but the tears just never broke through. Instead, I'm sleep deprived and I haven't been treating my body very well the past few days...well I've been treating it worse than usual.
My dad used this incident to remind me to take better care of myself. This has always been a sore spot in times past since he had me dieting pretty much from the age of five until my teen years. But I'm reminded of two lines that Randy Pausch spoke, "When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody's bothering to tell you anymore, that's a very bad place to be. Your critics are the ones telling you they still love you and care. " and also he said "If I could only give three words of advice, they would be, "Tell the Truth." If I got three more words, I'd add, "All the time." Well, if I want to live my life practicing these kinds of values, who am I to keep other people from practicing them on me? I'm grownup now and I can take it...besides I know it's the truth. I've got to start being very agressive in changing my health. These days I'm all about the truth. I thirst for truth and want it to seep from me. I still make plenty mistakes trying to live this way. When you are conditioned for so long to live a persona of "I'll make my own mistakes and I don't want to hear what you say" and "The truth can hurt", you eventually learn that you've filtered out the people who truly care and you begin to lie to the people you should care for enough to tell them the way things are.
On a lighter note, even though I've had a rough week there have been some good things. My daughter did well on her standardized test...which was a super huge relief since I haven't been super consistent this year with our routine. I also found out that my sister in law is going to have her first baby...which I intend to spoil rotten. :-) My dad also found out the blockages that caused his heart attack are also responsible for his stroke...(long and drawn out explanation and I get angry thinking about why his doctors didn't catch this before) which is a good thing b/c now that the blockages are gone, there is less chance of another stroke in the future. That is all for now...whew I feel lighter already...kinda like this blogging thing. Thanks for the comment Kimber...it's nice knowing someone's reading. :-)