Sunday, August 2, 2009

A late night talk with my brother

It's been a little while since I've had the opportunity to sit down and blog...which is kind of a good thing b/c I'm like a shaken soda bottle about to blow. I've got so much to say, so it's gonna take a few blogs to get it all more reading for your not. lol.
Well, this past week has been very interesting nonetheless. First, my brother Paul came into town. He spent the night with me the first night. I waited late for him while everyone else was sleeping. We went to grab some highly caffeinated drinks and brought them back here to my house and started talking. We got on the subject of religion. Well, before I go on, I should tell you that my brother has always mocked my religion when he's mad at me...and has always basically called me ignorant. Well, the past couple of years he hasn't even known that my belief system has been challenged and greatly changed as a result of it. I began to tell him how some of my beliefs have changed and how it irritated me when he would mock religion in front of me b/c he didn't take the time to even find out what I believe. We talked about scientific things such as evolution...The Flood, alternate universes, genetics, ionization, all kinds of crap. I told him at this point, I'm not sure what I believe, but that I still believe in a creator. He told me, "Well, I can respect what you're saying now." This is a BIG statement for him considering he can be a bit arrogant sometimes...a little bit of a know-it-all. I truly feel like we have bonded.
At the same time, I have to admit I am a bit melancholy. I feel like a threshold has been crossed. For the longest time, I had prayed that my brother would come to his senses and become a believer in God. I've always maintained my spirituality in front of him b/c I was afraid of chancing that I may be the only one who could be the light as far as ever affecting his belief system...or system of non-belief. Well, now the cat is out of the bag and I'm pretty sure that he feels even more smug about his "rightness" about all things scientific and spiritual. I am being sarcastic about this, because I do still believe in God, but b/c I'm not sticking with my old beliefs it's kind of the same as not believing, probably, from my brother's view point. As for me, a part of me does wonder according to my old beliefs if I have been a stumbling block for my brother and if I will be held accountable for his faith before God. Well, I suppose I'll know when I

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