Monday, October 19, 2009

Ch-Ch-Ch Changes

Ok, so I know I haven't blogged in a while. There is a perfectly good excuse for this. I just haven't felt like it. My brain is constantly going.....all the time. This is why I'm so analytical. The thing about my brain constantly being busy, is that my brain gives out after a while. I need time to recharge mentally. I use this blog for those times when my brain is on emotions are overloaded, or if I just need to make sense of things by writing.
   Here lately, my husband has been reading the Bible again. He's been making changes and the changes have been good so far. He hasn't went into the mode of trying to push us all into submission.....he hasn't done that in a long time. This time he has been taking our family to heart. He's been humble and he's been leading us. We've been reading the Bible as a family, we've been praying as a family, and we've been spending more time together. Hell, we're even back in church! lol The church we're going to isn't even half bad so far. I'm not really sure what to make of all this considering my faith has been one long slide down a slippery slope (now say "long slide down a slippery slope" ten times as fast as you can...tongue twisty) in the past while. I'm just along for the ride....waiting and hoping to see what happens next.
   I've been setting goals. I am not organized and this year I'm having even more trouble with it. I have constantly dealt with depression due to hormones in the past few months. It has been horrible. I have a great life....I'm satisfied with a lot. I just can't seem to get motivated to do the things I need to do, and I'm having trouble seeing the bright side of things. It's the strangest depression I've ever been through. So, one of my goals is to get those endorphins going b/c I can't afford medicine. lol.
  My next goal is to get everything "school" into a calender. I am the worst at depending on my computer to keep track of my appointments. It's doing me no good.
  My next goal is to lose weight. I'm so sick of being fat. UGHHHH! It seems to get worse every month with the, I've got to do something and now. There may be a weightloss blog in the works....not sure yet. I'd like to get some feedback on this from people who use their blog as a tool. I'd like to know if it really works.
  My biggest goal, is to get un-stuck. I'm so sick of being stuck. I have this super busy brain but my body just doesn't want to follow. I need more action in my life. I think a lot about the things I must do, but I end up not doing those things...not sure why...except maybe for the depression. My husband has been wonderful throughout this whole depression episode....a shoulder to cry on...honesty when I need it's been nice. I'm not sure what I'd do without that guy.
  I hope all of you are enjoying autumn. I know I am. Play rehearsals, piano recitals, soccer games, watching the deer play, leaves change, wearing soft coats, the smell of fire places...mmm.  Take care all and you'll hear from me soon.


  1. That's a great thing to be able to just let your ongoing issues out and send them into the universe. I think they have a way of becoming real once you share them. Getting motivated to reach for goals can be hard, but I try to get up in how fun the process is. With weight loss, I don't think about that number and what I'll do when I get there. I just focus on how neat it is to wake up every day with a sense of purpose to exercise and consider what I eat. I think of the celebrities who every day have to live on a regimen and I associate that with being driven and ambitious. You'll find the depression lightens when you start to do things. The problem with depression is it's most often associated with knocking yourself internally for what you're not getting done. It sounds like you know just where you're headed and that will pay off.

  2. I like how you said it Autumn, "send them into the universe". That's exactly what I'm doing. I like what you said about making the motivational process fun. I really need to adopt this mind-set. What you said about the depression and how it can be associated with knocking one's self don't think I've been thinking about it that way. I'm pretty sure that has something to do with it. Thank you for such wonderful and positive feedback...just what I needed. :) I like your blog by the way. I don't celebrate Halloween but I'm fascinated by mysteries of the unexplained....I even read one of your spooky stories. I have to watch how much I read of those though, I get scared. :P lol