On the homefront, things have gotten a lot better. My husband and I finally talked about a lot of things several weeks ago. I brought up my doubts about his faithfulness and we have finally been able to put things to rest on that issue
We talked about the lies....the stupid little lies I catch him in. He said generally he doesn't tell many and the ones he does tell is b/c he's afraid of me being disappointed in him....and this really surprised me. I explained to him that I know I am not perfect and I certainly do not expect perfection from him, so there's no need to lie. We talked about intimacy. I told him I felt like I lost my best friend. I asked him (in an angry way) how many more limitations is he going to set upon me about what I can and can't talk about? Then I listed those things. He needed that....I think he finally realized that he had pushed me away to the point that we couldn't even have lengthy conversations anymore. So, we took off the limitations....and it has been wonderful.
We haven't talked about the racism issue...however, there have been developments. My brother and his Korean girlfriend have spent many weekends with us. This is a big deal for my husband. I think my husband is warming up to her. She's ultra sweet, good with our kids, she makes my brother spend lots of time with his family (lol) and she's very funny. I know his problem is with interracial relationships and not against ethnicities themselves....but, they are staying here at my house, together....and that is what the big deal is. So, I'm hoping that this is a chain that will go on and on.
As for me, I seem to be digging myself out of this
So, it feels nice to